Wedding Etiquette

The Bride:
Unless you opt for a professional wedding organiser, you will be the key to arranging the whole of your special day. The task can be daunting but it can also be a lot of fun! Make the whole thing less stressful by enlisting the help of a good support network, such as reliable family members.

The Groom:
Your only real responsibility (traditionally) is to select your best man and your three ushers. However in reality you should offer as much support as you can and involve yourself in as many of the arrangements as your future wife wants you to! During the wedding breakfast you are required to respond to the brides fathers toast and propose your own toast to the bridesmaids.

The Brides Father:
Traditionally the brides father meets most of the cost for the wedding, however, nowadays the bride and groom often also play a part in that role. On the day, the brides father escorts the bride up the aisle and gives her hand in marriage to the groom. During the wedding breakfast the brides father is the first member of the wedding party to make a speech.

The Brides Mother:
The brides mother will usually help her daughter with most of the wedding arrangements. She usually compiles a wedding guest list of all the family members on the brides side and generally oversees all the arrangements on the big day.

The Groom's Parents:
Traditionally they have no specific role to play, however it is important that they feel as much a part of the proceedings as the brides parents. It would be most gracious of the bride to ask her prospective in laws their advice on some issues. Usually the grooms parents compile a guest list from their side of the family.

The Best Man:
Traditionally the best man is responsible for the safety of the wedding rings on the day. But that is not where the responsibility ends, he has the fun job of booking the stag night! This should be held days or even weeks before the wedding if he is to successfully fulfil his duty of getting the groom to the church on time. It is also the best man's responsibility to do any last minute errands on the day. At the wedding breakfast he also responds to the grooms speech and reads any cards or telegrams from any person who was unable to attend.

The Chief Bridesmaid:
The chief bridesmaid should assist the bride on the day itself, by helping the bride dress and arranging the veil. It is also her responsibility to ensure that all the other attendants are in their correct places for their walk down the aisle, she should also show them their seats. Once this has been achieved she arranges the brides veil and is given the brides bouquet for safe keeping.





The Wedding Timetable Countdown


12 Months Before:
Tell all family and friends of your forthcoming plans to marry.
Get together with both sets of parents, set a budget and decide who is doing what financially.
Draw up your provisional guest list.
Speak to your local parish church, registry office or start viewing civil wedding venues, then make a firm booking.
Decide on the number of guests you want as some venues have a maximum number.
Provisionally book a caterer.

11 Months:
Start looking at the styles of wedding dresses and consider underwear.
Choose the type of shoes you would like to wear.
Have your tiara or headdress made.
Begin a beauty regime for skin, hair and nails.
Decide on your attendants, best man and ushers.
Book your photographer and videographer. (NB if you are having a church wedding check with your minister that they are happy for the professionals to photograph or film inside the church. They usually are but there is often a small fee).
Book your disco or band for the evening entertainment.

10 Months:
Decide on your colour scheme and start looking for your attendants dresses.
Start looking for your "going away" outfit.
Start looking at honeymoon destinations and apply for a passport.
Book the transportation to the church and reception.

9 Months:
Organise a wedding gift list.
Book the honeymoon destination and check your passports. Check if you will need inoculations and start familiarising yourself with the foreign currency you will need.
Choose your wedding rings.
Book your venue decorations.
Start planning a menu with your chosen caterer.

8 Months:
If you're getting married in a church, speak to the minister and the organist about the readings and the music during the service. If you would like flowers at the church find out if you have to hire the church's own florist.
Book your florist and organise flowers for your bouquet, buttonholes, corsages and reception.
Book your Toast-master.
Order your wedding cake.

7 Months:
Book your first night hotel.
Choose gifts for your attendants, best man etc.

6 Months:
Buy honeymoon clothes.
Hire the suits for the male members of your wedding party.
Make an appointment for the initial fitting of your wedding dress. (NB don't forget to take your wedding shoes, tiara or headdress and bridal lingerie).

5 Months:
Order your wedding stationery. (NB if you are having a sit down meal, we strongly recommend reply cards for the day invitations).
Make an appointment with your hairdresser and beauty salon, to discuss your hair and make-up.

4 Months:
Send out your invitations.
Decide on your hymns for order of services.
Order cake boxes, serviettes, personalised camera's, book matches and favours if required.

3 Months:
Book now to have your bouquet preserved after the wedding.
Confirm all bookings and details of the booking.
As your guests reply make a list of acceptances and refusals.
Take out the "Mums" to buy their wedding outfits. (NB don't forget their hats).

2 Months:
Confirm your order of service details with your minister and have them printed.
Confirm your catering details.
Arrange a seating plan and have your table plans made.
Order foreign currency.
Inform your local G.P, dentist, bank, building society etc. of your forthcoming marriage.
Arrange with your minister for a rehearsal.

1 Week:
Have your final fitting for your dress. (NB take everything that you took before).
Take your tiara or headdress to the hairdresser, have a practice.
For peace of mind confirm all bookings and details of bookings again.
Pack for the honeymoon.
Arrange to have your honeymoon luggage taken to your reception or first night hotel. (NB don't forget to label your bags clearly).
Have a get together of the wedding party to finalise all responsibilities and arrangements.
Ensure the groom, your father and the best man are preparing their speeches.
Have your hen and stag nights and forget about all the planning!